Hi! I’m Kerstin Phillips (she/her)

When I was 32 I had a mid-life crisis.

I’d done all the things on my should list, all the things I'd been told I was supposed to do. I went to college, got married, got a corporate job with good benefits, had a kid, bought a house… but it was like I was living someone else's life.

What I didn't realize is that I didn't have solid boundaries. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted; that left me feeling stuck and helpless. So I fell into the bottomless pit of personal growth and grabbed every self-led program and book I could get my hands on.

I went from shiny thing to shiny thing, never finishing any of them because the next thing seemed like it would be the thing to fix me, to make me better, so that I would feel whole and complete.

Instead, I felt guilt and shame for not finishing anything I started. The thing I was missing was accountability. It was too easy for me to walk away from one thing and onto the next. I needed someone holding my hand, helping me to figure out what to do next, so that meant ditching all the self-led things and hiring a coach. Which felt super scary because it was different and new. When the pandemic hit I was cut off from my yoga community and fell into a deeeeeep depression.

Journaling was my main coping mechanism, it helped, but it wasn't until my coach reached out and asked if I wanted to become a coach myself. She was running a life coach training program for yoga instructors.

I immediately said yes without fully understanding what I was getting into.

I just wanted to be around more like-minded yoga people and I love learning. It turns out I've been a coach my entire life. I just didn't know that's what this skill was called. Before I was a yoga instructor and life coach, I worked as an accountant for 10 years. Even in that job, I found a way to coach people. We used the most archaic accounting software that wasn't actually accounting software. It was confusing, overly complicated, and I was constantly correcting bad data. Then I started training all the other staff on how to use the software better. It made my job easier because the data coming in was correct the first time. I wouldn’t just tell someone the answer, I’d walk them through the process so they would feel confident to do it on their own. That was me coaching without realizing I was coaching. I’ve done that my whole life for everyone in my life (whether they wanted it or not LOL).

At the end of my life coach training program, I realized that:

I defined myself based on how I thought other people wanted me to show up in the world.

I tried SO hard to ignore the parts of me that weren’t “right” and meld myself into someone that I'm not.

I wasn't showing up as shiny-sparkly-weirdo-nerd me.

I knew that I wasn't alone in my journey.

When we hold ourselves back we hurt both ourselves and the world because we're denying who we really are and dimming our light. It feels scary, daunting, and overwhelming to think about being your real self because you don't know who you really are. Y

ou've always defined yourself based on other people. So who are you without anyone else around to tell you who you are?

Society, your caregivers, and the patriarchy have told you since birth what you're supposed to be. But when that supposed-to feels like you're trying to jam yourself into a box that can’t contain your bright sparkly self, you think there's something wrong with you. That you're broken, different, or that you can't do anything right. That it's your job to fix or change yourself into something that you should be. The truth is: you're not broken and it’s not your fault if you think you are.

That’s why I do the work I do, to help weirdos like me figure out what is is they actually want and ask for it (and if that just made you gasp, you’re definitely in the right place).

There isn't a perfect formula for who you should be.

You are unique, magical, powerful and you don't believe that about yourself because everyone else has been telling you the opposite your whole life. Let's change that. Your uniqueness is your magical superpower. It's what makes you you.

Finding the real you feels scary because it's outside your comfort zone.

You've gotten so good at blending in and chameleoning yourself into what you assume other people want from you that you've lost your true self in the process. It's time to rekindle your inner spark and let yourself shine as the real you. You don't need to do this alone.

That's why I do the work I do.

As The Boundaries Coach, I help overthinkers stop saying yes (when they mean no) and set healthy boundaries without drama, pushback, or guilt. So you can be your full sparkly unique self too (it’s ok if you have no idea who that is, we’ll figure that out together).