How to Calm Anxiety
Anxiety is a normal part of my life. I’ve tried a lot of different tactics over the years in order to feel calm and in control. A past mentor encouraged me to hold onto the calm-clarity feeling whenever it showed up. But that feeling was elusive and rare like a snow leopard. I knew it existed, but I’d never seen it in the wild.
If you resonate with my words or the stories that I share, then you likely struggle with letting go or calming your anxiety. That’s ok AND that’s not your fault.
You learned that in order to feel safe and in control you gotta know what’s coming next and surrender might feel like a very scary word.
Surrender feels scary to me. And just admitting that on the page feels like a truth bomb I’ve hidden from all my life.
So if you're feeling the same way where feeling calm or peaceful would be amazing, but you have no idea how to cultivate that feeling, here are a few tricks I learned along the way.
Feel into your anxiety/worry/overwhelm/crazy.
If you try to ignore it, it just gets louder and more frustrating like a battery operated toy with no off switch.
Give your anxiety/worry/overwhelm/crazy a name.
So that each time it pops up you can greet it like an old (annoying) friend. I call mine Inner Critic, not the most original name, but it works.
Ask your anxiety/worry/overwhelm/crazy what it wants.
There are a couple of ways to do that, my go to is journaling. When you connect pen and paper, it’s easier to think more clearly because as you write each word on the page, that same word gets quieter inside your head, until eventually the page holds all the noisy bits and you can breathe more easily.
You can start your journaling by writing this question in your journal:
Hi Inner Critic (or your chosen name), I noticed you’ve got a lot to say today. What would you most like to have or do today?
Then let your pen move across the page. Let go of the need for proper spelling and grammar. Write whatever comes to mind ESPECIALLY if it feels like you’re making it up. That’s when you get to the deeper truth and the way that you can start to feel better.
Go do the thing your anxiety/worry/overwhelm/crazy asks for.
If that means shouting by yourself in your car to let anger or frustration go, do it.
If that means taking a bath or eating an entire box of chocolates, do it.
If that means working out or going for a long walk by yourself, do it.
Release the feelings stuck inside you, so you can move forward.
Your anxiety/worry/overwhelm/crazy is there to help you, but it’s more like a 2-year old that’s only just mastered using their words.
They don’t know how to self-regulate, function, or feed themselves, but if you take the time to listen, observe, and acknowledge what you experience, that part of you will feel heard and understood.
When you feel heard and understood it’s easier to breathe deeply, feel comfortable in your own skin, and know what you want to do next.
Right now in this moment I give you 100% permission to feel into whatever you're feeling and do what your anxiety/worry/overwhelm/crazy is craving.
You will feel better when you fully listen to yourself.
Stop ignoring your feelings and let them take over for just a few minutes.
It might feel really scary at first, especially if you’ve never done this before. You will be OK. I promise.
Take a few moments to journal and ask yourself:
What is my body telling me that it needs in this moment?
The answer might surprise you.
If you're craving individualized support for feeling into your feelings, knowing yourself, or deciding the next best step for you, then book a consultation with me. I've got 3 spots open for one-on-one clients.
Kerstin Phillips is a Life Coach & Yoga Instructor, E-RYT 200 living in Berkeley, California with her daughter, husband, and kitty, Pesto.
She loves to journal, read, do all things yoga, and hike in Tilden.
Kerstin guides women and non-binary folx out from the shadows so they can embrace their true selves, feel confident in their decisions, and define their purpose, because everyone is valuable and no one deserves to be overlooked.
