It’s My Birthday and I’m Feeling All the Feels

Negative emotions get a bad rap because they make you feel uncomfortable, feel things you “shouldn’t feel” or “shouldn’t be bothered by.”

The truth is, your feelings are REAL, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Your brain processes and communicates to you through feelings, it’s the fastest way to get a message to your conscious mind. 

So why do we push our feelings away? 

Because we haven’t been given the tools on what to do with them. Toddlers get to have temper tantrums because they don’t have the vocabulary to say what’s going on. So what do we do as grown-ass humans when our feelings want to have a temper tantrum, cry uncontrollably, or scream for 20 minutes straight? 

Express your feelings in a safe container, where you still feel in control AND you can let go of control. 

Um, what, excuse me, that doesn’t make any sense. 

Yes, and, let me give you an example.

Two days ago I was so friggin frustrated, I just wanted to yell at my husband for every little irritation getting in my way (which was EVERYTHING). But I didn’t want to yell at my husband, my anger wasn’t really directed at him, he was just an easy target. So I high tailed it to another part of the house and busted out my journal. 

First, I just scribbled uncontrollably, made a big old mess on the page with my pen, after several minutes of this I found myself making a circle pattern and I kept going until I was being my own spirograph, making a circle flower shape on the page. 

Second, when I noticed that I was making a shape, it felt oddly soothing to keep, moving my pen on the page in circles. I loved the simplicity and predictability of the pattern (that was me gaining control of my surroundings while also letting my pen continue to move on the page in a release of control). 

Third, when I felt that my breathing had slowed and I no longer had the urge to throw every piece of breakable glassware into a wall I turned the page in my journal and started to write words. 

Fourth, I acknowledged my feelings by writing them on the page, “I’m in the depths of frustration and I can’t get out. The most negative forces are at work in my head, working tirelessly to deceive and derail me. There’s a nerve hit that I can’t seem to move the [indecipherable scribble]. I just want to scream and break things. This isn’t what I wanted, but I don’t know how to ask for what I want and I feel so stuck.” 

Fifth, I felt better. After writing those few sentences it was like I released all of the anger and frustration on the page. It was like I could function again. I could do the next thing in my calendar and I could breathe. 

Your feelings need a safe place to express themselves and it might feel like you have nowhere to do that. Channeling anger into exercise is a go-to for most folks, but what do you do with all the other emotions? Frustration, jealousy, manic-excitement (you know when you’re body wants to brag about something super awesome that you’ve done, but your brain is like “it’s selfish to brag, don’t do that!”) that’s when having a journal or even a scrap piece of paper is the best thing. 

Channel your thoughts, feelings, and emotions into the page. They can be scribbles, pictures, or words. They don’t have to make sense to anyone (even you). Use the page as an outlet to let all the shit go that you don’t know what to do with. 

What supports you in releasing your emotions? 

If you’re needing support on how to journal, I’m teaching my Thoughtful Journaling Method in the Empowerment Off the Plate Workshop on August 26th. With Thoughtful Journaling I teach you how to create a safe space on the page and teach the journal-haters how to love journaling. Learn more about Empowerment Off the Plate Here.