How I Understand Myself
When we hold ourselves back we hurt both ourselves and the world because we're denying who we really are.
I used to play small in nearly everything I did. I kept my words to myself. Even when I had a conversation with someone and I knew what they were saying was incorrect I wouldn't say a word. Instead I rehashed the conversation over and over again for the next month. That's not a healthy way to deal with things. I realized I didn’t understand myself.
I knew I needed to do something different, but I didn’t know how to show up as myself. It felt scary, daunting, and overwhelming, just to consider being my real self. That meant that I didn’t know who I really was.
All that changed when I became a yoga teacher, well, not all at once. It took time.
My yoga teacher training reconnected me to journaling and gave me the gift of immersing myself in yoga. Journaling and yoga helped me to understand and see myself in a deeper way that allowed me to show up and shine as myself.
Then there was the moment when I realized, this is what I do for other people! I help them to understand and see themselves, so they can stop playing small and see their purpose clearly.
When I teach yoga it feels like I’m a channel for the words that come out of my mouth. I have my quote picked out, that part is set, the rest though, tends to come into my mind and I share it, even if it feels jumbled.
Even when I had something planned, the exact words and story that I say get shaped in that moment to be what the folks in the room in that exact moment need to hear.
That is my gift. That’s how I shine and serve the world.
The quotes that I share each week began as a way of telling my stories. As a way of getting clear on my thoughts so that when I show up to teach I know exactly what I'm going to say. The truth is it gave me the confidence to show up and say what's true on my heart to listen to my intuition, and adjust my plan on the fly.
After class the true magic begins, when the students share how my words connected with them.
A few weeks ago a student visiting from Southern California, told me that she’d saved THE SAME quote that I shared in class as her phone's lock screen two days before she took my class! She said she was meant to be in my class that day and just had to tell me that. That's not the only time students shared stories like that with me.
So often what I say in class is exactly what they need to hear.
I've had students come to me crying tears of realization after class, the words I said clicked with them so deeply that they felt a release of emotion.
I had someone that was about to teach her very first yoga class who decided that she wasn’t going to invite her friends to her first class. When she took my class and I shared this week’s quote (the one above) the words hit home for her. She saw the importance of her shine and the value of inviting her friends to be there to support her. She decided to not play small and instead invite her friends to cheer her on.
When we hold ourselves back we hurt both ourselves and the world because we're denying ourselves who we truly are which means our life purpose isn't happening.
Inside each and every one of us is the ability to make this world a better place. That might sound totally cliche, and it’s also true. I see the value in finding our purposes because when we do we bring joy, goodness, and hope into this world. That's what this world needs right now. Whatever your unique purpose is, it's valuable, necessary, and it’s time to shine your light.
What might your purpose be?
If you feel unsure of your purpose/shine and would love to know what it is, then let's have a consultation call. On this complimentary call we'll explore what it might be like to work together and if now might be the right time to uncover your purpose. Book your Consultation Here.
Kerstin Phillips is a Life Coach & Yoga Instructor, E-RYT 200 living in Berkeley, California with her daughter, husband, and kitties, Pesto & Taco.
She loves to journal, read, do all things yoga, and hike in Tilden.
Kerstin guides women and non-binary folx out from the shadows so they can embrace their true selves, feel confident in their decisions, and define their purpose, because everyone is valuable and no one deserves to be overlooked.
