Frustration is a Good Thing
Frustration IS a good thing.
It’s your feelings telling you that you're ready for a change.
Frustration is a source of information.
When you feel frustration your current path is no longer serving you.
I used to HATE IT when frustration popped up, now I welcome it like a grumpy old friend.
Hello frustration, I see you there. Yes this totally sucks, yes I want something different. I feel stuck too.
So what do you do when frustration pops up?
Welcome it! Get curious! Pay attention to where it's loudest.
If you feel most of your frustration at work that means it’s time for a new role, department, company, or industry.
Get curious, ask yourself, what would feel better with my work?
If you feel most of your frustration at home that means either a) you’re craving a new routine or b) you’re wanting more support around the house.
Get curious, ask yourself, what would make things at home feel better?
Your brain fears change AND frustration is your body’s way of telling you you're ready for change.
Take a moment, think back on when you last felt frustrated, what were you doing?
Frustration is good at camouflaging and misdirection. So sometimes the moment you feel frustration it’s because you've been reminded of something else.
Shame often jumps in with frustration too, they like to work together.
When frustration and shame join forces you act irrationally, out of character, or just plain mean.
Tuesdays used to be my big frustration days. I had too many meetings and appointments back to back and my husband would want to chat with me while I was eating lunch and I just wanted him to shut the f-up because my brain was overloaded.
I needed quiet and space to decompress and think. I couldn’t hold anything that he wanted to share with me and god forbid he tried to ask me a question, I’d jump down his throat in full attack mode.
It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t something I was proud of.
With conversation and a rearranging of my schedule that frustration went away.
I got clear with my husband that sometimes I don’t have a capacity to listen, so now he asks first before launching into a story or a question, by asking, “hey can I share something?”
That simple question has transformed our relationship. I ask it of him too, which means we have fewer of the, “but I told you about that last week!” (while he was playing a video game and not able to pay attention).
When we’re both present and able to listen, we feel heard and cared for. That alone melts my frustration away.
Journaling Prompt: Where are you feeling frustrated?
Kerstin Phillips is a Life Coach, Yoga Instructor, and Journaling Coach who helps women with ADHD reclaim their time, set non negotiable boundaries, and ditch the shame-guilt-doubt cycle.
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I want something different for next year. I’m not one for setting resolutions, I gave up on them years ago, I don’t really see the point of trying to make a change that won’t stick.