The Real Thing Holding You Back
Ok, you might want to make a cup of tea ☕️ or pour yourself a glass of wine 🍷, I’m getting into the depths here AND I promise that I’ll bring you back up at the end. We gotta get a little dark first so you can see how bright and beautiful the light is on the other side.
I’ll wait while you grab your beverage of choice.
Ready?
I had a deep conversation with a dear friend of mine, I coach her and she mentors me, it’s a beautiful symbiotic relationship.
We got to talking about the challenges of being entrepreneurs and especially for me as a life coach, where most of the people that need my support don’t know that they need it or are too embarrassed to admit it.
That’s not their fault.
It’s the hustle culture, patriarchy, and white supremacy that have invaded our most inner thoughts.
Telling us time and time again that you don’t matter, that you don’t deserve time for yourself. Saying that it’s selfish to do anything just for you.
It’s easier to spend $400 on art camp for your kid than it is for you to spend $120 on a massage. You tell yourself that you don’t need a massage really, that it’s selfish to even think about it. Besides, you couldn’t spend time away from your family. One kid has soccer practice, the other one is going to a birthday party and there are too many things happening at work, you can’t take time off even if you requested it.
I’m calling bullsh*t on all of that.
You deserve a massage just as much as your kid deserves to have a happy childhood.
You deserve to be creative and make things with your hands just as much as your partner deserves to go to the gym every day (you know if that’s their thing).
You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin.
It’s about finding the things that make you happy and bring you joy.
They don’t have to be extravagant, they can be, but they don’t have to be.
It’s about tuning into you, the real you, like there’s a unique radio station 📻 that only plays your favorite songs (and only you can hear it). 🎶
That thought used to scare me, the real me?? 😱
I didn’t know who she was. I knew I liked to read and do yoga, but that was kinda it.
I felt ridiculous anytime I heard someone say “speak your truth” because I didn’t know what my truth was.
It’s like we’re living in the matrix and you have a choice: keep taking the blue pill* where it’s bad or wrong to indulge in yourself or take the red pill* and begin to tell yourself, “I’m allowed to feel nourished and whole.”
You might not know if you’re taking the blue pill because it feels so normal and safe.
How do you know if you’re still taking the blue pill?
Here are the top signs that you’re taking the blue pill:
You can easily list all the things you don’t want and struggle to clearly state what you do.
When someone asks you “what do you want?” your first response is “I don’t know”
You tell yourself all the time that you don’t deserve to spend money on yourself.
When you do spend money on yourself you hide it from your partner.
You don’t think you’re allowed to want the things you want.
It feels scandalous to take a whole day off from work and not dedicate the day to cleaning your house or stocking up on everything at Costco.
You’re so stoked to buy two new fuzzy blankets for $40 but question whether you can buy a $40 meditation course.
You wear your exhaustion as a badge of honor, it proves that you can do all the things.
It’s not your fault.
It’s not your fault.
It’s not your fault.
If you’re feeling crappy right now, hang in with me. Remember, I said I’d bring you back to the light, that starts happening now.
You’ve been conditioned to give your energy to everyone else.
You were told that it’s selfish to want for yourself.
That makes it sooooo much harder to know what you want because there’s a part of you that believes wanting anything is wrong.
I’m here to help you think outside the box, that's my superpower, so you can see your life from a new perspective.
That means I’m giving you the choice to take the red pill so you can:
Feel good knowing what you want.
When someone asks you “what do you want?” you have a clear and guilt-free answer
Tell yourself that you deserve to spend money on you.
Spend money on yourself and excitedly tell your partner about it.
Want the things you want.
Take a whole day off from work and take a me day.
Feel stoked to buy a $40 meditation course.
Take time for you to rest and restore so you can be the best version of you.
I’m in your corner, encouraging you with love, light, and laughter.
Remember, it's not your fault and it's not selfish to want things for yourself.
What do you notice when you ask yourself, “what do I want?”
Take a few minutes to journal on that question, you might be surprised by what you uncover.
Unsure of the best way to journal? Grab my free Thoughtful Journaling Guide packed with tips, tricks, and my simple five step method to take your journaling from dreaded chore to delightful practice.
*from Wikipedia: “The red pill and blue pill represent a choice between the willingness to learn a potentially unsettling or life-changing truth by taking the red pill or remaining in the contented experience of ordinary reality with the blue pill. The terms originate from the 1999 film The Matrix.”“The red pill and blue pill represent a choice between the willingness to learn a potentially unsettling or life-changing truth by taking the red pill or remaining in the contented experience of ordinary reality with the blue pill. The terms originate from the 1999 film The Matrix.”
I want something different for next year. I’m not one for setting resolutions, I gave up on them years ago, I don’t really see the point of trying to make a change that won’t stick.