The Real You is Enough

A scarcity mindset is normal

Especially when you've spent your life wondering "what's wrong with me?" or being told you're somehow broken.

You've been trying to make yourself small, hold yourself back, when really you're bursting at the seams to speak, radiate, and share all of your brilliant ideas (and the knowledge you've gained).

But it feels like the world isn't ready for you. They don't get you. And you wonder will the world ever be ready for the real me?

You've played it so small for so long because you don't want to get in trouble. You don't want to be blamed, made fun of, shamed, or ridiculed.

But that means you've dimmed your shiny sparkly rainbow-filled brilliance into the shine of a dull grey rock. You tried your darndest to JUST FIT IN.

The truth is you're not a dull grey rock. You are shiny, bright, full of brilliance and light, but the more you try to hide, the more you tell yourself that you're not worthy, you're not clever enough, you're not wise enough, that there's something wrong with you because you can't do things the way you're "supposed to".

I don't know about you, but I've had enough of "supposed tos." That's what led to my midlife crisis at age 32 when I'd done all the things I thought I was supposed to do:

• Went to college (and graduated)

• Got married 

• Got a good job with benefits 

• Had a kid 

• Bought a house in Berkeley, California

But after I'd checked off all those things, I felt lacking, incomplete, and so confused. I asked myself, "is this all there is?" I felt angry, frustrated, and anxious 24/7.

I kept thinking there had to be something that would fix me. Some book or program that would make it all better. But every book I started, every program I began sat half done, taking up space in my brain as another thing I hadn't finished.

I couldn't focus on what I had accomplished. I only saw my weaknesses and failures:

• My inability to finish a project I was initially excited about.

• My overwhelm at staring at my email inbox and watching the unread number climb and climb (this one still gets me, my unread emails are at 34,443 and counting…)

• How quickly I get overstimulated by electronic beeps and noises, where the only way I can function is to keep my phone on silent at all times and retreat to my bedroom every afternoon.

You're not alone if you feel this way too.

I'm not messing up, I'm learning. And so are you.

I'm not a linear thinker. I love solving puzzles. I love meandering conversations that appear from the outside to have zero through line, but for those in that convo, deep insight and connection are happening.

Anytime someone apologizes to me for saying something that might not make sense or for going off on a tangent (or 6), I see in them what I see in me, and I KNOW they are one of my people.

Our brains crave consistency. They want us to keep doing what we're doing because it feels normal and predictable. But just because something feels normal doesn't mean it's good for us.

When we're constantly masking the parts of ourselves that we think are unlovable or wrong, we're not living—we're just coping.

And there is no shame in what you're feeling right now.

The real you—the one you're afraid to show the world—is exactly who you're supposed to be.

Which part of this post resonated with you the most? I'd love to know if you're struggling with feeling misunderstood, thinking there's something wrong with you, or if you're ready to let your true brilliance shine. Drop me an email and let me know!

With warmth and light,
Kerstin