Your Inner Critic Isn’t the Enemy

Oof, we lie to ourselves all the freakin time and don’t even realize it!

Why? 

Conditioning, societal norms, the patriarchy… bleck! 

What lies might you be telling yourself?

My voice doesn’t matter. 

My words are not important enough to share. 

I don’t need to make a fuss about myself. 

I shouldn’t want that. 

My kids/partners/everyone else’s needs come before mine.

I have to get every single last thing done on my to do list before I can do anything for me.

I don’t even know what I want anyway.  

Any of those floating around in your head? 

“It is better to speak your mind and tell the truth than to stay silent and lie to yourself.”
- unknown

The lies you tell yourself are often coming from that voice that we call your inner critic. 

But your inner critic doesn’t realize it’s lying to you. 

It wants to keep you safe by preventing change, keeping you in your predictable lane, and reinforcing all the rhetoric that everyone has ever told you about who you are and what you’re supposed to do. 

It’s enough to send you to your pity party pit. You know the place where you go to be by yourself, cry, and say discouraging things to yourself over and over. Because when you go there you stop yourself from changing and you keep doing all the shoulds. 

What’s the biggest indicator that you’re lying to yourself? 

Saying to yourself that you SHOULD do something. 

Get really curious about the shoulds. 

Those things, the things you say should about, those are the things other people have told you you should do. They are not the things that your true inner being wants, not for a second. 

So if you’re saying, I should stick with my job because it has good benefits. Ask yourself why, and ask beyond the surface reason of because we don’t have universal healthcare. Take it deeper, what's the real reason? 

Were you taught as a young kid that it was wrong to quit? 

Or to only quit things that were bad for you (except if your job is causing you undue stress, keeping you away from your family and that things you love, then it is a bad thing for you).

I get it, this is bringing up big thoughts and maybe asking you to look from a lens that you’ve never used before, that you never knew existed. 

That’s not your fault. 

You were conditioned from an early age that your role in life is to care for others whether you like it or not. 

Let’s change that, let’s change the way you talk to yourself, let’s change the way you approach what you see in the world. 

Let’s start small, going super big super fast will only overload your system and cause you to be extra stuck in your current habits. Let’s make this bite sized instead, maybe even fun sized. 

Let’s start with a question: what are the things you’re saying should about? 

Start there, just noticing where you say the shoulds and if you want an accountability buddy or someone to help you understand them more, then comment on this postl and tell me where you’re shoulding on yourself. 

You’re likely not even aware of how many times you say should because it’s a very normal part of your vocabulary. 

Give yourself permission to notice, to be human, and to be imperfect. This isn’t a judgment or a lets banish all the shoulds crusade. This is an invitation to get curious and notice where your shoulds are popping up. 

I’m standing by and here to support you. 

Journaling prompt: what are the things you’re saying should about? 

P.S. Your inner critic isn't the enemy, it just needs more guidance from you to feel safe and understood. Stay tuned we'll keep breaking this concepts down into bite fun sized pieces so you can feel better, breathe deeper, and know what you want. 💕

Want more support for working through your inner critic? Join my weekly journaling group, CommuniTea. 

Every Friday we hop online and I lead a group of humans through a group journaling session, and it’s so much more than that! These humans have become some of my best friends, we get to be our authentically weird selves, and there’s usually so much laughter. It’s a space of connection, healing, and bonding. Yes, this is a part of my business, and it’s a magical space where I get to be my unique self too. Check out CommuniTea

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