Why Do I Feel Quiet and Small?

I used to be stuck in that place of listening for other people's judgment. It kept me quiet and small.

I feel like I've shared this part of my story time and time again and yet there's always another layer to unpeel.

Even when I taught yoga my fear of judgment snuck in.

I would fear that the students in the room wouldn't enjoy what I was there to teach. That my sequence wasn't good enough, not creative enough. That I didn't have enough bliss bombs or workds of insight to inspire them throughout class. That I was a mediocre teacher.

This affliction ran so deep that I stopped teaching classes that required my creativity and instead focused on those with set sequences so that the only nuance would be my voice and the music I brought to class. Even then I used the same playlist over and over and over again because I was scared to bring in the wrong thing. 

I'd love to say that I'm completely past judgment. I don't worry about impressing people anymore. That’d be a load of  B.S. because it still affects me and it just doesn't affect me to the same degree. 

Now my fear of judgment is like an annoying fly that I occasionally shoo away instead of being a debilitating force controlling my every move.

The first step to moving past a behavior, habit, or fear that you no longer want, is noticing and acknowledging that it's there. That might sound over simplified and yet it is essential.

If you keep ignoring your fears and judgments, especially those that you direct at yourself, you will stay stuck exactly where you are. 

You don’t have to stay stuck there.

Begin to notice when judgements and fears pop up. Explore this journaling prompt as an opportunity to learn more about yourself. 

Journal on this question: Where is fear blocking your connections? 

Before I had a regular journaling practice I felt stuck in my head all the time.

My thoughts ran rampant, my anxiety consumed me, and adulting felt impossible.

Then I started journaling regularly. I realized it was easier to process my thoughts and  feelings.

The paper gave me a safe container to process what was going on in my head and offered me valuable insights. 

I am now an observer to my thoughts instead of feeling overrun by them like a pack of stampeding minions. 

It was like I could link to my subconscious in a safe way and understand what I thought and felt.

Journaling gave me a safe space to breathe and reset. 

I know I’m not alone in my thought-overwhelm journey, so I took the things that work best for me in journaling and broke them down into 5 simple steps so that I can share them with you. I call it Thoughtful Journaling. Get my Thoughtful Journaling Guide here and turn your thought-overwhelm into clear-understanding.

Feel stuck when it comes to journaling? Get my Thoughtful Journaling Guide Here.