We've all got voices in our head and those voices want to help, but not all of them are helpful.

So how do you tell the difference between a helpful and a not so helpful inner voice?

Get curious, notice what you feel, and write down what you hear. That might feel scary and overwhelming, and that’s perfectly normal to feel that way. Let me break it down for you with some real life examples, so it can feel easier for you.

Here's the play by play of my most recent journaling with the voices in my head.

As you might know, I'm writing a book and that's a really big deal for me because I was told my whole life that I was both a terrible writer and had terrible reading comprehension. Those are huge internal beliefs to move past to actually complete my book (plus they're both not true!).

I'm at the point where my book is done and I need to take the next steps to get it published. That's super duper scary for me because my strongest fears are bothering other people, sounding stupid, and not knowing what I'm talking about. Which are all showing their gnarly heads right now.

Last week I had a day where I just felt really angry and I mean super duper this doesn't even make sense why I’m angry.

I felt lost and confused and like I didn’t know where to turn, so I turned to my journal and I wrote A LOT.

At first it was just angry scribbling that I can barely read.

The more I did that angry scribbling the more I processed through and my handwriting changed. It got more legible and my writing slowed down and I was like “oh okay I'm in a calmer state now.”

I knew I was in a calmer state because my writing changed.

Journaling has the power to show you what's going on in your mind and where you might need more support. (That’s why journaling is my go-to tool for just about everything)

When my handwriting slowed I knew I could ask myself questions without having an angry shouting match with myself on the page. So I asked myself open-ended questions starting with what or or why and it brought up a lot of fears around my book and a lot of negativity.

These three fears popped up:
you don't know what you're talking about.
you will never be a published author
no one wants to read a single word that you've written it is not worth it at all

Those were the thoughts in my head and even typing them now I get a clenching in my stomach and my shoulders start to hunch like I'm a turtle going inside its shell.

That's how I react to those three sentences, which tells me that those three sentences are not coming from my Intuition or inner wisdom. Those thoughts are coming from a place of fear, pain, or an unmet need.

I took those three sentences and rewrote them into positive affirmations that addressed the fear behind them.

For example that first one “you don't know what you're talking about”. I rewrote that as “I am a wise being with Infinite Wisdom”.

For the second and third phrases I wrote into one affirmation: “My words are important and worthy of sharing.”

Side note on affirmations:

I’ve got a daily affirmation practice where I write five daily affirmations in a separate journal every morning. They evolve over time so that they're serving the limiting beliefs that I'm working through or the goals that I have.

Affirmations can be a positive support and it takes practice to find the words that resonate with you.

AND if you’re thinking that affirmations don’t work, well, that likely means you’ve been told that affirmations are phrases like “I am a millionaire” or “I am successful” or other short phrases starting with “I am” and honestly, those affirmations don’t work unless you already believe them, so if you’re unemployed with only $300 in the bank telling yourself “I am a millionaire” or “I am successful” can actually be more detrimental than something like “I am worthy of being paid well” or “I deserve a job I love”

Part of you has to believe that the affirmation is true so it can reinforce that truth and get the rest of you on board, but it no part of you believes it then it just won’t work.

So what do I recommend for you? Use these steps to explore the thoughts and voices in your head

Asking yourself, What do I feel in my body when I hear one of these thoughts in my head?
Describe those sensations. (like oh it's the butterflies in my stomach, it's the clenching of my jaw, it's the shoulder blades sliding down my back, or whatever else you are feeling)
Write down the statement that you're hearing. Writing it on a piece of paper will help to take it out of your head. It'll make it easier to observe it instead of feeling all of the sensations.
So after you write it down, ask again, what do I feel in my body now? Likely the sensation will change and likely it will be an improved sensation because putting it on the page gives you that bird's-eye view and that's usually a good thing because they don't distract you in the same way.
Rewrite your phrases into an affirmation or a positive statement. (Use the sensations in your body to tell you when it’s a phrase that’s helpful to you and when it’s not)

If you don't have a journaling practice or I don't have an affirmation practice, or I don't know where to begin, that’s OK too. You are in the right place.

Just by reading this you are giving yourself more choices and giving yourself permission to interact with the thoughts in your head in a different way.

The more you give yourself permission to be curious and try something new the easier it is to understand yourself better and to be in the present moment instead of worrying about your to-do list.

You don't have to stay stuck, we're in this together and you're not alone even if it feels like it.

I'm here and I'd love to waive my magic wand and make all this busy stressful negative voice thing go away for you, just poof gone, but I'd be denying you a lot of powerful growth.

If we don't learn or grow, then we'll just end up repeating the same patterns over and over and we'll be stuck in the exact same space again.

When we learn from our experiences that opens more doors and makes more things more possible.

And as always, if you want personalized support I’m here for you.

That’s that I work I do, I guide folx thorough their transitions, be that career, life goals, or mid-life crisis (at any age).

So if you’re like yes, I’m tired of doing the same old patterns again and again.

I just do them because I don’t know how to do anything different, then let’s chat.

You can reply to this email, send me a text, or book a time on my calendar.

I’m in your corner cheering you on, offering relentless encouragement, radical love, joyful laughter, vibrant creativity, and connected understanding.

What do you notice when you listen to the voices inside you?

If you're tired of repeating the same patterns and hearing the same inner voices in your head and don't know how to make a change, let’s chat. I'm in your corner.

Is My Inner Critic on My Side?