Why is Outside Approval Important?

You are a complex being and you are capable of so many things. 

But, do you believe that you're capable? 

Oftentimes it's easier to see the brilliance in others than it is to see it within ourselves. 

Because we were taught to seek outside approval, that we need outside input in order to survive. That means we’re denying ourselves the full depth of self-love and self-appreciation. So then we feel shame, doubt, or guilt when we want to believe in ourselves. 

That’s not a fun cycle to live in. 

Wouldn’t you rather let go of the shame, doubt, or guilt you feel around self-love or self-appreciation, and instead embrace your true gifts? That's transformation!

Most of my shame and hesitation revolved around the idea that I'm wasting other people's time and wasting my own time. But when I stop and think about it, am I really wasting my time? Am I really wasting their time? 

No, no I'm not.

I went on a quest to find my true self. Which felt ridiculous because I'm over 40 and I should know who I am by now, right?

Yet there was this lingering doubt that I didn't really know who I was and didn't really know what I stood for. 

I defined myself based on how I thought other people wanted me to show up in the world. 

I never asked anyone how they wanted me to show up. I just made assumption after assumption of what other people wanted until I lost sight of who I really am. 

How could I morph into what someone else wanted me to be when I was guessing the whole time? That meant I wasn’t meeting anyone’s expectations. 

That realization opened my eyes and pushed me to figure out how to show up as my true self. 

I worked with several coaches that listened without judgment and reflected back the brilliant things I said about myself. 

I discovered that I'm far more creative and powerful than I ever realized. 

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​”Innovation occurs by making small movements that add up to huge change.” -Mel Robbins

I thought I was at the mercy of those around me and that my actions needed to fulfill their unmet needs. I realized that’s not true. 

My coaches helped me define my core values and the parts that make me, me. 

So who am I? 

I am a nurturer that embodies unconditional love. 🥰

I am a nymph that loves shenanigans. 😂

I am a goddess that exudes vibrant creativity. 🎨

I am a governess that connects through understanding. 🔮

I am a dragon that gives relentless encouragement. 🙌🏻

Journaling Prompt: What words describe you? 

P.S. Feeling stuck on who you are or how you show up in the world? That’s the work I do in private coaching. Book a consultation to learn more.

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A Few of My Favorite Things

where I share my favorite things that I use in my life and my work that I think you would enjoy too. Some of these links are affiliates and I’ll never recommend anything that I don’t use myself. 

This week's favorite thing: My favorite book shop, The Best Bookstore in Palm Springs​

You might be wondering why I love a bookshop that is soooooo far from my house. 

I love that this bookshop offers free shipping throughout the U.S., they have a well curated LGBTQ+ section, and Sarah makes the best recommendations!! If you’re wanting a certain type of book, but don’t know what its is, call up the book store and ask. A real human will help you. 

Also they're the creators of The Devil’s Bookclub (I’m a member and our current read is My Name is Barbra).

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