How to Feel Worthy

So many times we look to external sources of validation rather than seeing that we are our own best cheerleader. 

If you're dependent on outside sources to tell you that you're worthy, you're good enough, that you can do things, that means the voice in your head is doubting you 24/7. That level of doubt is exhausting. It's not your fault if you experienced it. 

Our society taught, maybe even groomed you, to follow the rules, strive for perfection, and not make waves. 

That’s not healthy for humans. 

Yes we need general rules and guidelines to keep us safe. But when perfectionism is expected of us that's when we get into trouble. Because we are not perfect. We never will be. So if you are striving for perfection, I hate to tell you that you have an impossible goal. 

All is not lost. 

My inner voice told me for so long that I didn't matter, that I should keep my words to myself and that I should never speak up. That's a scary place to be because there were other thoughts in my head that conflicted because they wanted to share my story, share my joy, my pain. I wanted support and connection. And in order to have support and connection you have to be able to say things. When you feel like you don't have a voice it makes it difficult to have genuine friends and bond with other people.

You have gifts within you, they might be magical, they might be numerical, or they might be creative. 

Each of us are dynamic and we have our own unique story and journey. Even if you have siblings your life experiences are not identical. Variances and nuances are the things that make you you.

I struggled with the idea of being comfortable with my own words and sharing them beyond my journal or my brain. 

I found the thing that helped me the most was deciding to write a book. 

Not just any book, a book about my experiences. The cool thing is as I've written more and more of my book I'm growing with it. I'm beginning to see the genius in my words. I'm beginning to see I make a positive impact just by sharing my story. That feels revolutionary. 

Then I find myself getting frustrated because my book isn’t done yet. 

I've been beating myself up about it mentally. Because I'm like “it should be done!” This is a project I started. I should be finishing it. What is holding me back? A few things really. 

First I'm hanging on to that need for perfection. 

That means I'm afraid of completing it because then it will be judged and if it's not perfect well that'll be on me. Remember that I mentioned earlier perfectionism isn't possible? It's a word that's been put on us to make us follow the rules to our detriment. So for me writing these words right now means that I have permission to unpack the need for perfectionism and acknowledge that I do not need it. 

Second, my greatest fear is that I'm bugging people. 

The way that I'm bugging them can totally vary, that I'm over texting, over emailing, and oversharing. This comes back to being taught that my voice didn't matter, that my experience didn't matter, that I was not worthy of saying what was on my heart and mind ever. That’s a f*****-up place to be.

Where do we go from here? 

Well I've decided to do something bold because I realized a big part of not finishing my book is that if it’s not done then I don't have to submit it anywhere. So no one can review it to see if it's good enough to publish. To push past this fear I'm doing something outside of the box, a little more radical.

I decided to self publish my book and create my own Publishing Company because I know there are other folks like me that have limited their voice and their experiences. 

I want to give them that voice. I want to give them that experience to see their words in print because I know it has the power to transform. 

So what does this mean for me right here in this moment? Well it means I'm making a plan. 

Making a plan scares me!! So that means it’s an opportunity for growth. 

A big part of my personal growth journey is understanding my own voice and to get comfortable saying what is actually true for me instead of trying to word my words to please the person in front of me. Because that was my default, to constantly edit before I spoke (or emailed) so that whatever I was saying could in no way insult or upset the person in front of me. That's not possible. 

So I’m getting extra brave and sharing my plan with you knowing full well that it might surprise, upset, or intrigue you. 

In the very near future (exact timing TBD) I’m launching a kickstarter to fund all the editors and help that I need to create a really good book. We all need help and support. That means that you can be a part of my kickstarter and be one of the first people to get your hands on my book. If you want to be the first to know about my kickstarter, then click here.

These are the real doubts that plague my brain: 

I don't believe in myself. I doubt myself at every corner. I doubt myself everywhere I go. I have this great gift and yet I cannot see it because I don't think it's good enough. 

I’ve decided to see my doubts as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles. 

What obstacles are your greatest opportunities?

If you’re feeling stuck or your brain isn’t letting you explore your obstacles then journaling might be just the thing to guide you through. You can get my free Thoughtful Journaling Guide where I teach you how to journal in a way that feels safe, supportive, and in a short amount of time. Get the Guide HERE.

So much of what I post on my blog are drafts of my book, if you’re loving what you’re reading then be the first to hear about my kickstarter. Get in the know here.

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