How to Choose People That Cheer For You

The people that surround you, that you spend the most time with, influence how you feel, act, and respond to everything that pops up in your life. 

Who's in your corner? 

So if you’ve got a bunch of Debbie Downers in your inner circle, I’d imagine you feel depressed, overwhelmed, and anxious most of the time. 

If you’re surrounded by Workaholics, then you likely feel super stressed, overwhelmed, and that you have no time for your family or yourself. 

If you’re surrounded by Scarcity Scardies, then you likely feel like you can never make enough money, the world is gonna end and it’s all your fault, and that it’s best to curl up in a ball and never leave your house. 

You might feel like you have no control over who shows up in your life. 

You might feel stuck with folks that drag you down at every corner. 

I’m here to say it doesn’t have to be that way. 

AND there are a few simple things you can do immediately that don’t require getting a new job or replacing any family members. 

I used to be a Debbie Downer and I was surrounded by Scarcity Scardies (yes I totally made that phrase up). 

That meant that the folks around me kept me stuck in the place of fear. I was so worried about the future that I couldn’t be present in my life. I was absent, worried, depressed, the list goes on, it wasn’t pretty. 

Then I had an aha, that it wasn’t just the living breathing humans in my life, there were a slew of other influences that had their claws in me, dragging me down deeper. 

I noticed that nearly every TV show I watched had a negative message. 

The worst were the shows where comedians made fun of people by tearing them down. The amount of negativity shoved into those shows was making things worse for me. 

So I told my husband I didn’t want to watch those shows any more and I started being way more mindful of what I watched. I picked shows and movies with an overall positive message, where the characters bonded and supported each other. 

I also stopped following the news, which aggravated my husband to no end because I wouldn’t know when big things happened, but I figured, if it was important enough, someone was going to tell me about it. And me consuming all the negative and hyped up news stories was waaaaay worse for me. 
(Update: my husband is in my corner and is really good about sharing the important news things that I need to know and he's super good at checking in with me that I’m ready to hear a news story before he launches into it.)

AND I became more mindful on social media, you might think I deleted my accounts, but that would be a lie. They still exist. What I changed is that I was super mindful of what I liked and commented on. And do you know within a month of doing that, my whole facebook feed was filled with adorable baby photos that made me smile and feel all gooey inside, you know, in a good way. Anytime my feed starts to give me content that doesn’t support me, I intentionally do a reset by going to accounts that I know motivate and nourish me. I like and comment on all of those, so the algorithms work in my favor.

So how do we choose to have folks that cheer for us no matter what?

Start simple:

1. Take a real look at the TV, movies, and media (including books and articles) that you consume. Mindfully choose which ones you continue to watch. 

2. Notice which things aggravate, frustrate, or scare you. Is it watching the news? Is it watching fail videos on YouTube? If consuming something makes you feel like crap, choose something instead that feels good. 

3. Take a peek at your social media feed. Use the algorithms in your favor. Pick the people or companies that you love to see, go to their pages, like and comment a bunch, and pretty soon that’s all you’ll have in your feed. 

​You might be wondering, how does mindfully choosing media give me more people that cheer for me? That’s a great question. It’s about elevating your mental well being and telling universe or your higher power that you want to be cheered for, you want to be encourage, you want people in your life that bring you joy, laughter, and hugs when you need them most. You set the tone for how other people show up in your life and if you’re choosing things that make you feel sh*ty then that’s how the people in your life will show up too.

It might sounds super simple to choose what you consume and you might not believe me that this will bring you more people that support you. That’s Ok, I invite you try this on for a month. When your month is complete re-evaluate how you feel, who’s in your corner, and whether you feel more supported or not.

Bonus points boost the good feels in your social feeds by liking, commenting, and sharing my social posts. 

I curate them to offer insight, inspiration, and relentless encouragement. 
Find me on your favorite social platform: Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

Journaling Prompt: What’s influencing your mental wellbeing?

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If you’re feeling stuck with work or with toxic people in your life, that’s where I shine. 

I help my clients by coaching them through change. Whether that’s changing jobs, careers, or figuring out their next steps in life (because they have no idea what they want or how to get what they do want). 

I’m a boundaries coach that creates possibilities, so that you feel seen, heard, and understood.

If that’s something that sounds good to you, book a consultation and tell me what you wish you could change. 

I’d love to cheer you on and coach you through, so you can feel confident in yourself, your choices, and your life. 

Book a consultation with Kerstin

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