Those Pesky Limiting Beliefs

Your subconscious beliefs pop up before you even realize it. When you can tap into the feeling first instead of the gut reaction you make life/adulting/everything easier on yourself. 

“Practice responding to situations according to how they make you feel instead of reacting based on old beliefs and fears.” - Jen Sincero 

Last night I got into a small fight with Nathan (my husband) because I wanted him to email me something and he said that if I wanted an email, I needed to email him instead of verbally asking about it. Makes sense right?

Instead I got mad at him for not stopping what he was doing to email me a link to something I already have access to. 

Why did it end up in a fight? 

It ended up in a fight because beneath the surface I was mad at myself for not getting a task done. The task felt complicated and I was afraid I was going to mess it up. I knew that if Nathan emailed me a link to the right source, then there was no way that’d mess it up. I was telling myself two stories (aka limiting beliefs) and they were triggering my emotions:

Limiting Belief Story 1: This is just another example of me not finishing something. 

Which made me feel shame. 

Limiting Belief Story 2: I don’t know enough and I’m going to mess this up.

Which made me doubt my abilities and stoked both fear and shame. 

So what is this mystery task that had me all attacky-blamey on my husband? A few months ago Nathan said he wanted to start an instagram account for his photography business and instead of me just saying what a great idea, I demonstrated that I know a thing or two about creating a regular presence on social media and guess who managed to volunteer herself for the task? Um, me, that’s who. (doh!)

So that story of I don’t know enough and I’m going to mess this up is complete and utter B.S. I know what I’m doing. So why am I actually dragging my feet? Time. I don’t want to dedicate the time to this when I feel pulled in so many other directions. 

But when I stop to think about it, how much time would it actually take? 

Probably not that long. 

Let’s do an experiment, it’s 7:24pm right now. I know from scanning my inbox earlier that Nathan DID email me the link I verbally asked about (even though I never emailed him) because he’s awesome, loves me, and for some unknowable reason embraces my eccentricities (most of the time). Let’s start the clock now, ok it’s 7:25pm, and see how many minutes it takes me to create this instagram account, ready? Ok, here we go! (It’s 7:26pm)...and now it’s 8pm. That means I spent 34 minutes setting up the account and creating two posts. Not crazy long, but I’m tired now. 

Aaaaaand I just did a thing, proving to myself that my limiting belief stories are just not true! That feels good. I’m calling it a night! 

Journaling prompt: What limiting belief/story are you telling yourself that isn’t true? 

P.S. Wanna see the account I created? You know you do! Follow blue.notephotography on Insta, especially if you’re a family living in the bay area (it will help the algorithms and stuff).

P.P.S Wanna a super simple way to get clear on those pesky limiting beliefs you keep telling yourself and why they’re not true? Then grab the Thoughtful Journaling Guide. It’s packed with everything you need to start (or restart) a simple journaling practice in a super short amount of time. (This method is made for busy people like you!) Get your copy here. 

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Hi! I’m Kerstin, The Personal Growth & Journaling Coach.

I help women suffering from doormat-motherhood-syndrome reclaim their time, set nonnegotiable boundaries, and ditch the shame/guilt/doubt cycle.

At age 32, I had a mid-life crisis because I had all the things I should have: graduated college, got married, had a kid, bought a house in Berkeley, California, and had a steady job with benefits.

And I felt lost and miserable!

It wasn't until I got clear on who I am without everybody else’s shoulds, set nonnegotiable time for the things that energize me, and surrounded myself with people that want to grow with me (instead of holding me back) that I unlocked my full potential.

Now I believe that what I have to say is valuable, my needs are just as important as my husband, kids, parents, and cats, AND I enjoy time with my husband so much more because it no longer feels hard to talk about the hard-stuff.

Those are things you get to learn when you join one of my journaling or private coaching programs.

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