Set Intentions, Not Resolutions

I can’t decide if I’m overwhelmed, depressed, or just really tired. I just know that I want something different for next year.

I’m not one for setting resolutions, I gave up on them years ago, I don’t see the point of trying to make a change that won’t stick.

I found something that’s better!

Intentions, they’re kinda like resolutions, but they make decision making easier and they're muuuuch harder to break.

To set an intention, you gotta ask yourself, what do you want more of? What do you secretly (or not so secretly) wish you had in your life? What feeling do you want to have? Do you want to feel happy, successful, like you got sh*t together? What is it for you?

What would make this coming year feel better than this past year?

It could be something simple, like I want to experience more joy. I want to spend more time with my family.

Or it could be something big, I want to move to another country. I want to change careers.

The change you want to make all starts with your intention. An intention is a single word or phrase that’s a beacon or an anchor point. It leads you to the place, feeling, or thing you want most. It reminds you of what’s most important to you, so you can make better choices, and take conscious actions that lead you to the thing you want most.

An intention is not a resolution.

A resolution is a fixed goal, but the problem that I have with resolutions is that they’re usually about making a giant change in your life. You want to break a habit that is so normal to you, you could do it in your sleep. Those types of habits are hard to break (not impossible! Just hard). They take careful planning and usually need tiny incremental changes and someone cheering you on to make the change stick. That feels impossible on your own.

Which is why so many humans feel like big old losers at the end of January when they’ve failed at accomplishing their resolution, but they were never set up for success! 31 days is NOT enough time to change a regular habit. Let’s be real about that.

It’s totally possible to change your habits, but you need a step by step road map that breaks them down into baby steps.

Let’s say you want to exercise more regularly.

What does that mean? Are you waking up early? Going to the gym everyday? Running after work?

There are a lot of variables, the most important one: what are you going to do on the day you miss? If you throw in the towel at that point and declare yourself a failure (when really you’re just human) then you’ll stop trying and feel even worse.

Instead, set an intention around exercise, it could simply be the word Healthy. So each time you face a choice, when you wake up in the morning, what most benefits your health? Sleeping more or getting your butt up to the gym.

Well, if you’ve got the sniffles and were coughing through the night, sleep is a healthier choice for you. If yesterday you spent the whole day glued to your desk and barely got up at all, then exercise, even just walking around the block, would be a healthier choice for you.

Think about the habit you wish you could change. What word or phrase represents the positive impact that you want from that change?

Feeling stuck on what your word might be?

Join Tracey Yokas and Kerstin Phillips for Boundary Breakthrough this Saturday Dec 21st at 10am PT or Monday Dec 30th at 5:30pm PT. We’re walking you through setting intentions and helping you hold better boundaries, to start 2025 on the right foot. You’ve got this!