Part 2: How to Banish the Should-Storm
When you say, “I should” that's a sign that you're pushing away what you really want.
In last week’s blog post, I prompted you to ask yourself why, every time you said the words, “I should”
That might have felt scary because why-questions force us to look at the actions and reasons behind something. If your first response to a why-question is “I don't know,” that's a clear sign that there's something there, something you're avoiding or afraid of.
Fear is normal.
Good fear keeps us safe by stopping us from running into oncoming traffic.
Bad fear holds us back, it stops us from speaking up, asking for what we want.
Bad fear tells us we're bothering other people and that it's best to leave everyone else alone.
Bad fear keeps you silently stewing when you know you need something different and you don't know what that something is.
That's all part of the should-storm.
We’ll keep peeling back the layers over the next few weeks. It will become easier to recognize your shoulds and know what to do to move past them.
Notice when you say the words “I should” or ”I'm supposed to.” Those are the moments where you're listening to external sources more than your inner wisdom.
Pay attention to what's happening in the moment.
Ask yourself, what caused me to say “I should” or “I'm supposed to”?
What feelings or sensations in your body came up as you said “I should” or “I'm supposed to”?
It’s time to get curious and gather more data, so you can recognize your shoulds and where they’re coming from.
Journaling Prompt: What do you notice when you say, "I should"?
Next week we’ll dive into the feelings behind your should-storms.
“Self-love the simplest yet most powerful thing ever flies right out the window when we start taking in outside information.”
- Jen Sincero
I don’t want to appear boastful or too showy. The truth is I have a gift and it's feeling crazy-scary-impossible to get these words out, so I'm just going to tell you before I stop myself.
When you're told repeatedly that you ask stupid questions, that you need to stop showing off, and just go along with the program... you shut parts of yourself down. Here’s what I did to reconnect to the parts of me stuck in the “shoulds”.